Pillow Talk with Alyssa Mitchell
Another great question; shared with permission:
Q: I am in the most secure relationship of my life. My lover knows my body inside & out. We have incredible sex & we have it pretty often. Standard bedroom sex & sometimes outdoors sex are our "usual" places. I am drawn to kink and s&m but I don't know enough about it to explore confidently. I want to explore fetishes and the likes with my partner. Where can I learn all the beginner basics without feeling like rookie? I had wanted to join things like FetLife but don't because I am afraid to do or say the wrong thing. My partner is willing to let me explore anything that intrigues me. Currently I have bisexual urges with lipstick lesbian I want to include him in everything i do, I have this guilt of "cheating" when exploring things that turn me on. Especially if it is another human.
A: Fetlife is an excellent resource. I'd suggest starting a joint account to avoid the flood of "hey girl" messages you'll get.
But it's awesome place to start voyeuring for sure! you dont need to put anything on your personal profile and can just lurk, I discovered all sorts of new fetishes that I hadn't heard of and saw people of all shapes, sizes, colors, and class getting kinky! Guilt is an interesting side effect of sexual expression. Social conditioning makes us feel bad or wrong for going outside the vanilla monogamy picture perfect family unit. As long as you & your partner communicate wants, needs and are open & honest about it your doing nothing wrong, Cheating isn't about respect or communication.
D/s is weird at first but as long as you discuss what your both looking for out of a scene, what your limits are, and a safe word you'll be fine, worse thing will be giggle fits. If you guys are comfortable with it watch bdsm porn together, Kink.com has a lot of different niches to choose from. Websites like kinkly, fetlife, a submissives journey, sunny megatron are great too for the more technical aspects.
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